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The Secret to Effective communication - The Personality Profile

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The Secret to Effective communication - The Personality Profile

 

We have found that this tool to be the most helpful, of all the personal development tools around, in creating channels of communication with others. The problem we have is that everyone is different in their approach to life, and when trying to communicate we miss the mark - because we don't understand the other persons "angle".

 

Understanding this will help you identify areas of your life that need to be improved, encourage you in areas where you are already strong and allow us to step out of our insecurities and realise that we are all the same really!

 

On purely practical terms you will be able to apply this to every area of life, work, family and any place that you have a social interaction. You will find that where you didn't’t understand some people and found them frustrating, that now you have an increased grace towards them.

 

We all wish that we could work well in team situations - separating us out to be leaders - and we are sure that you will find the tools and understanding that will enable you to build your life, and your work place into a slick strong and fun place to be.

 

Although we call this the personality profile, it really is more accurately the behavioural style system.

 

From birth every child has a very unique way in which it responds it’s environment, but this changes as the child develops and is “trained” by it’s environment. It is important to understand that this is not a “labeling system”, where we discover who you are and that’s it, this is a way to understand who you are and discover your weaknesses and strengths so that you know where to focus your efforts in improvement. You may also find that your “profile” changes over time as you grow and develop. There is no right and wrong, there are some personality types, or behavioural styles, that you will always find annoying or frustrating, but learning how to work and communicate with these styles is part of why we believe in this teaching.

 

You are unique and special, being different is who you are, but you can also be left feeling inferior and insignificant when you wish to be like someone else or struggle to be accepted by others. Growing in the confidence of your personality will cause others to want to be accepted by you and will foundationally create well being and healthy attitudes.

 

Up until the age of around 12 a child will develop their behaviour based on copying the role models they have in their life. Hence, as we face various situations we often look back and see us doing exactly what we saw or heard our parents doing in a similar situation - we’ve just learnt to behave as they behaved. This is also why we believe in strong families and strong parenting, so we create a positive behavioural style for our children to replicate.

 

After the age of 8 we start to become much more aware of our environment and how we affect it. The experiences that we face then start to mould us as we make choices and decisions based on what we understand and what has happened to us.

 

It is so very important that we develop a healthy self-image, take on and provide positive role models, and make positive choices in every circumstance.

 

The Personality Profile is a very fluid measuring system, based on 4 basic “orientations”, whether you are more orientated to performing tasks or working with people, and whether you are more orientated to the product (or end result) or the process by which you get the product. The extremes of theses “orientations” is where we find our labels - D, I, S and C. Hippocrates called these Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic and Melancholy.

 

These "orientations", are blended in each person - So you will find that you have some of the D, the I, the S and the C in you, it's just to what extent you lean to each one.

 

We'll focus on each characteristic as though that's the only orientation.

 

So let's look at each characteristic:

 

The D - Dominant, Decisive, Direct

I'm sure that probably sums up much of that characteristic alone, we all know people like that!

 

This is the least common of the orientations, with approximately 6% of the population being a "high D" - in other words this is their main orientation. They might only be 6% of the population but they make their mark!

 

The D excels in situations of high pressure, they tend to resolve problems and overcome challenges.


They are highly motivated, have incredibly high ego-strength, doing lots of things at the same time and always short on time! This is the natural leader, and always the optimist.

 

Classic High D Personalities we would know are Margaret Thatcher, Sir Alan Sugar, Adolf Hitler, Winston Churchill ... the list could go on, but once you know the traits you start to see it and identify it in others quite quickly.

 

The D is both product and task orientated, they are not interested in the people or the processes. It's get the job done to achieve the goal!

 

Let's look at some of the strengths and weaknesses of the D:

 

The Strengths of the D

Productive, Decisive, Courageous, Optimistic, Resolute, Visionary, Practical, Independent and Self Sufficient.

 

Relationally they motivate and organise others, establish goals and excel under pressure.

 

The Weaknesses of the D

Unfortunately we all have our weaknesses and the strength of our character determines how "good" a person we are, if our character is weak then the weaknesses of our personality come through and can destroy us.

 

The D can be cold and unemotional, crafty, domineering, impetuous and agitating, proud, prejudiced, unforgiving and inconsiderate.

 

Relationally they find it hard to say I'm sorry, are too busy for family, use people for their own end, are independent and over dominate.

 

The can also be rude, tactless, intolerant of error and see that the means justifies the end.

 

Dealing with a D

This is where the rubber hits the road, 94% of us are not high D's and will have to deal with them. But that's not easy when confronted with someone who wants to control us and intimidate us into doing what they want, is standing in front of us.

 

DO:

 

DON'T:

 

If you are a "D":

 

 

Now for the I;

 

The I - Influencer, Interested in People, Outgoing

Party ... Party ... Party, the way a "high I" wants to live!

 

The I excels when everything is going well.

 

They are "people people", and hate to loose the approval of others, they are optimistic and encouraging, let their emotions run away and are disorganised.

 

Classic high "I"s personalities would be Jade Goody, Jim Carrey ... myself! These people are likely to be the most popular person in your work place, certainly the noisiest and most fun to be around.

 

The I is both Product and Person Orientated - i.e. they are not interested in the processes or the task, but love the results and the people who are around to get the results. They will relate to the D through the task and relate to the S through the product. - It's all about persuasion

 

Now for the strengths and the weaknesses of the I:

 

Strengths of the I

I's are outgoing, optimistic, friendly, warm, sincere, great actors, the life of the party, charismatic and continually telling stories and jokes.

 

In relationships they are loved by children, apologise quickly, love to be spontaneous and can live off a compliment for months.

 

Weaknesses of the I

Here's where my weaknesses lie also, but it's also where I can find others to fill my gaps, or create ways to cover them, better to realise they are there and you can do something about it than be continually striving to be something you are not!

 

I's are disorganised, insecure, easily angered, dwell on trivia,, egotistical, undependable, naive, weak willed, make decisions based on how they feel, procrastinators and talk more than work.

 

In relationships they are forgetful, fickle, need to be the centre of the stage and answer for others.

 

Dealing with an I

DO:

 

 

DON'T:

 

 

If you are an "I":

 

 

The S - Steadiness, Security, Seeing

The vast majority of people are high "S"s, and those that are not a high "S" are likely to have S as their second main orientation (remember we're all a mixture of these orientations).

 

The S excels in an environment which is favourable, and they don't have to change the status quo.

 

The S is the person you can turn to when things are tough, they are loyal and supportive will resist change and slowly adapt to new circumstances. They are very "mumsy" or homely people.

 

The S is both People orientated and Process Orientated - they are happy getting the work done with people around them. They relate to the S through people (i.e. they love relationships), and they relate to the C through the process (i.e. how the job gets done). It's all about stability for the S.

 

Strengths of the S

Dependable, likeable, quiet, conservative, organised, emotionally controlled, practical and diplomatic.

 

Create a comfortable home, are good parents, easy listeners, they avoid conflict, competent, diplomatic, and have a few close friends.

 

Weaknesses of the S

The S can be resistant to change, selfish, stingy, stubborn, compromising, unenthusiastic, unchangable, judging and reticent.

 

In relationships they dampen enthusiasm, sarcastic, indifferent to ideas and suggestions and too relaxed.

 

Dealing with an S

As I said earlier most people are an S so this is a valuable list to understand if you are not an S.

 

DO:

 

 

DON'T:

 

 

If you are an S:

 

 

The C - Competent, Controlled, Conscientious

The C personality is probably the most awkward of all the orientations, it's the geeky, intorvert and almost (but not quite) as rare as the D personality.

 

The C likes to lock itself away emotionally and physically to study and research, ensuring that it is always accurate. It excels when things are unfavourable, while looking for a way to reduce pressure.

 

The C orientation is a perfectionist, they are very sensitive to criticism and change in circumstances. They constantly ask questions and are driven for accuracey. You will find some of the most talented people fall into this category due to their research and dedication.

 

Strengths of the C

Genius-like, talented, loyal, sacrificial, artistic, musical, serious, analytical, self-disciplined, creative, economical, orderly, detail orientated.

 

In relationships the C encourages study, is cautious in friendships, content not to be the centre of attention and sets high standards.

 

Weaknesses of the C

Unsociable, critical, unfriendly, isolated, impractical, touchy, self-centred, negative, intorverted, tends to hypochondria, low self-esteem, hard to please, plans rather than works, needs approval.

 

In relationships they can be moody, martyristic, cold and unemotional, sulky.

 

Dealing with a C

DO:

 

 

DON'T:

 

 

If you are a C:

 

 

In conclusion

Everyone's bahavioural style is different but the mix is incredible. Our youngest daughter is 4 (at time of writing in 2008), and she is a D/I. Unfortunately she shares a house of I/S which causes great amusement, to us, and frustration to her. She'll be stubborn at what clothes to wear and fight all the way until she hets her own way or has been won round by the possiblity that she's missing out on something.

 

One time, coming in from work I could hear her crying in her bedroom, I asked Abby, my wife, if she'd been having a hard day, I was told to go into the bedroom and inform my daughter that I was the boss of the house and she had to do as she was told. On approaching the room I could hear a great sobbing along the lines of "... no I'm the boss ...". Being a D she, in her own eyes, had to be in charge and wanted to dictate what happened and the revelation that actually the aduilts in the house are in charge over her was more than she could handle! Having this understanding of behavioural styles is very important as a parent, in fact I believe that a lot of apparent bad parenting issues are caused by the fact that the parents do not understand what it is the child requires to communicate as we all assume everyone else sees what we see and how we see it.

 

If you wish us to come a teach on this then please contact us.

 

 

 

 

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